My daughter and I looked at each other with questioning looks on our faces. We were in high rows of shelves filled with the latest hot toys at the "Toys Could B Us."

Snorting eruptions began moving down the aisles --- getting louder by the second! Was someone ill? The ruckus morphed into a whooping "sucking-in-the-air" noise! What in the heck was going on? Then it got even louder as it came closer to us. I have never heard sounds like that before. It sounded like a wild beast loose in the store! The closest thing we could come to was the braying of a donkey..... in heat.

We looked at each other again with raised eyebrows and giggles, as "it" trotted by --- a beautiful, tall, model-thin, young blond woman was laughing!!! Laughing?

Can you imagine taking her out on a date, I whispered to my daughter. My daughter snorted her approval and we continued shopping

For a month, I was getting threatening messages left on my cell phone --- always a man telling me to call him back by a certain deadline, which kept changing. I never answered the call in person and I never returned his call. Mysterious still, we found out the area code was for Columbus, Mississippi.

Where??? Who dat calling?

Curiosity got the best of us, so my husband called this man and asked him why he was harassing his wife!

We were told that my cell phone number had been given by some woman, obviously a lying deadbeat. The man has promised never to call us again looking for whoever the lowlife was giving out wrong numbers.

This is the only cell phone number I've ever had, but about a week before, I got a call on our land line asking for a "Sharon" somebody. Nope, I say, "This is the Blah-Blah residence!" So, the guy checks our number against his --- yep, it's the exact same number --- which we've had it for about 26 years!

Maybe they made a mistake, maybe they made it up, or maybe someone is out there using my telephone numbers for whatever purpose! Watch out, Streamers, because there are at least two dishonest people out there somewhere pretending to me.

While hubby was attending conference events at Wildacres, I spent my time enjoying nature and the beauty of the outdoors.

Autumn in the woods can be an exciting experience! The leaves are changing colors, usually under a brilliant blue sky, and the air is cooler --- perfect for nature hikes.

On my second hike, I wanted a more challenging trek so I decided to take a steep trail --- one that had switchbacks down a heavily-wooded mountainside. Halfway down, I almost stepped on a huge black snake. Seven feet long if he was an inch!!! He jumped out from my right foot and flung himself diagonally across the trail, looking back at me with his head raised!

Egad, did I scream --- no one around to hear me scream, but I can assure you, I made lots of noise! So much noise, I thought the snake might attach me just to shut me up. So I clamped my hand over my mouth, backed up, and let Mr. Big B. Snake have the entire trail.

I went running up the side of that mountain so fast, I probably blazed a new trail in the forest floor. Back on the boring short trail, I was panting so hard that it took me forever to catch my breath! I had forgotten that snakes love the fall weather too.

"Didn't you get a picture?" was all my husband asked when I told him about my new record in mountainside climbing!

Have you ever agreed to do something and then immediately wished you had duct-taped your mouth shut!?

Oh, yeah, ya know you did..... ya know you did..... ya know you did.

You can't not NOT do it --- after all, you said you would, right?

If not, you have to tell someone, that you had meant to say NO, but your mouth said YES.

Naughty mouth!!!

So you can't weasel out of it, can you, you dirty dog, because you have to make your word count for something, right?

Next time --- just say NO!

No, thank you.

Can't do it.

Don't want to do it.

No way, Jose.

Sorry, I'm too busy.

Not gonna do it.

Bye-bye!!!

Whoa!

Am I glad to be writing this after having my entire life flash before my eyes!

I always though "Death by Chocolate" was an awesome dessert with a funny name, but I didn't know it was named after an actual possibility.

This event is the honest-to-goodness truth: I popped a piece of dark chocolate into my mouth, bit it in two chunks, one of which flipped into my throat and stopped my up windpipe!

Alone, and panicky, I turned upside down trying to cough, and finally did a Heimlich maneuver on myself. Whoa, baby! I don't want to do that trick ever again.

That melting piece of gooey chocolate flew out and onto my beige carpet, creating a ugly blob of a mess!!!

Gratefully, I decided to spend the first day of the rest of my life joyfully spraying, scrubbing, and cleaning the living room rug. Thank you, Jesus!