~~~Scientists think water formed the flowing and layered landscape of Mars. Or did the Martians did trenches? Acid might be a better guess. I saw "When Mars Attacks" and that place has a hostile environment!

~~~Red Hot Chili Peppers have been around for 6,100 years! Now that's hot --- Tex-Mex cooking began a long time ago --- and they finally have a band and groupies singing their praises.

~~~Does NASA really think sending up a shuttle named Atlantis is a good idea? Didn't the original Atlantis end up under the ocean?

~~~Krispy Kreme has created a new whole wheat doughnut! Yippee --- doughnuts are healthy now!!! Hurry up and turn on that "HOT Doughnuts" sign!

~~~Who would have thought the Chinese economy would cause our stock market to crash? It's a small world after all --- we are all connected by money. I'll bet it caused our gas prices to go up too!?!

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that --- I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like? The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big bust, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?" To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

I thought this joke was extra funny because one day I overheard part of a conversation between two men at Wal-Mart. They were trolling for women! One said he had met his girlfriend there and was telling the other guy he needed to get himself a woman and Wal-Mart was the place to be. So be careful, lady Streamers, you may find the man of your dreams or your worse nightmare in the wrong department!

*****"I've been busy working at bringing sexy back. It's too big a job for Justin Timberlake!" Joe Hill, author of "Heart-Shaped Box" and son of writer Stephen King.

*****"The only fraud that was me thinking that I knew was it was like --- that I really understood what it was like to be married, and I really didn't," says Kenny Chesney, back-pedaling with this mouth. I'm glad Kenny found out early.

*****"A NASA female astronaut attempted to kidnap another astronaut's girlfriend using a BB gun, mallet and pepper spray after driving 900 miles wearing a diaper. Which would all be amazing except that the Russians got a monkey to do that last year." joked Conan O'Brien recently.

When I finished packing the back of my van after shopping at the Stuff-Mart, I took the shopping cart to the rack across from where I had parked. While returning to my car to shut the back, a horn honked behind me. I quickly turned to look because I thought my cart might have hit a car and the driver was "fussing" at me! Or I was about to get hit from the rear!! But, no, I didn't see anyone around in any of the cars. No one to honk a horn.

While I was looking back wondering who had honked at me, I spied a grocery bag hanging from the side of my now-abandoned shopping cart. It was bulging with dairy products but somehow I had missed it dangling from the hidden side! I ran over and quickly retrieved it. Still I didn't see anyone close enough to me to notice.

"Must have been a grocery store angel watching over me," I said out loud as I drove away, smiling. If I hadn't looked in the direction of the honking sound, I would have lost a huge bag of food!