Today's stories are brought to you by Rita B, that wickedly-hot news wench for decrepit males everywhere. So sit back, relax, and get informed!

*****At-home dentistry has been on the rise in our area with two different people being arrested for working on patients using house tools. Ouch! Then the newspaper reported someone was arrested of doing kitchen liposuction! Double ouch!! What is up with this? There has to be a better way!

*****Guard dog Barney went berserk and ripped apart a rare teddy bear collection. Bear parts and stuffing were found all over the museum where the Doberman worked. Sounds like something from a Stephen King story! One of the teddy bears belonged to Elvis. Poor crazy Barney's been fired.

*****News Flash!!! This just in: A holiday poinsettia has survived the winter and summer heat and is now making a very green comeback! Long time Streamers will remember when these ugly dead sticks were throw out of the house to survive on their own. One has made it and will be returned to the comfortable life of a house plant. ( Mother Nature has spoken!)

*****Good looking couples have girls. Parents who have traits more beneficial to girls --- such as physical beauty --- are more likely to have girls. (OH, my husband could have told you this one! Except he thinks only macho men have girls!!!)

*****Interesting: 50 % of the people in the world have never made a phone call.  (They don't live around here!)

*****Another New York cat makes the news. Fred, the undercover cat, who helped investigate a phony veterinarian, died after being hit by a car. (See, if Fred could be an undercover cop, then I could too!)

*****"Maybe government should ban the most dangerous thing on airplanes: PEOPLE!!!" from The Buzz.

~~~ Have a safe weekend, Streamers! Remember, I don't want to see you in the news! ~~~ Hugs, Rita B

1. Never shut the door to the toilet.

2. Always take a phone to the toilet.

3. Wear a tool belt to the toilet.

4. Don't wear flip-flops to the toilet.

5. Take a smarter, stronger, and sexier friend to the toilet.

(If you are lost, read my story "Double Click" from yesterday.)

As soon as I pulled the door shut, I knew I had made a terrible mistake. The click reminded me of the trouble we had been having with this bathroom door. A couple of people had gotten locked in, but easily released with the key over our door in the hall.

However, I was stuck inside the small windowless hall bathroom! No one else was home. My husband wouldn't return for hours and I had no phone. Oh dear, a boring afternoon lay ahead for me.

Luckily, I had some books and old magazines in the cabinet, so I settled down on the floor to read, after the toilet seat proved too hard. I started to shift around, when I noticed the door hinges had pins that could probably be removed and then I could lift out the door.

After digging through all the make-do "tools" --- none worked --- I gave up on that idea after an hour of effort. How does one pound a large pin out with a flip-flop? Impossible.

What? I pressed my ear to the offending door --- I heard someone open the door from the garage. Hooray!!! My husband returned early and opened the door for me! My savior! Free at last!!! I danced around to my good fortune.

I started telling my hubby what had happened, and was showing him my bright idea of trying to remove the door hinges. He came into the bathroom to see, commenting about how it would have worked and wasn't I a real smartie, when he shut the door. Click!

We looked at each other and started laughing! My savior??? Now we were both stuck in the bathroom together! Even though that doubled the possibilities of interesting activities, we decided to proceed with my project of removing the door from the inside.

Again, after a long hour of hard pounding, the pins in the hinges were out and so were we!

Today we live

A hot wind comes up

And takes away

Our words

Wind brings dust

And covering up

The words we left

Behind us

For worthwise

Words would seem

To be hidden

Only when we're living

Feel the breeze

While it comes by

To take away

Our cool words

Words keep moving

Or carrying away

Whether said or unsaid

They do not stay

~~~ RBR, 8/1/06 ~~~

Sugar Cherryshock (grandma baba)

Starr Dazzletush (coloconnect)

Sugar Glitterjugs (Gina2)

Raquelle Velvetshock (Whit Whittlings)

Mimi Heavenhips (The Raven)

Heidi Deephooter (Heather)