....Friday of Fun Facts!

1. I can't sit still during TV commercials! As soon as the commercials come on, I'm up and outta there, doing something ---- anything! It drives my husband crazy because I always return just a few seconds after the program starts again. I get bored easily after seeing even a good commercial once or twice.

2. I actually like burnt toast. Teri Hatcher has a book out about not accepting the burnt toast in life, but I don't mind it at all and neither does my husband. Maybe we both had mothers who burned the toast so it seems like comfort food to me. Love that overdone bread!

3. I'm lazy about exercise. Hello? I know I'm supposed to do it and I can talk myself into it often, but I would rather do other things to burn the old calories! Like sleep it off.

4. I always floss my teeth. Every night before bedtime I floss and brush those pearly whites. I can't remember ever being been so wasted that I didn't do it --- not once! Of course, now I could have been where I didn't remember........ tee hee.

5. I believe in never giving up! There's something in me that just won't let me give up. I would have had to have tried everything humanly possible to accomplish something before I would even consider giving up. Perhaps, somewhere along the way, I found out that sometimes when it's least expected, things happen to change an outcome.

Put a little love in your weekend, Streamers! ~~~ Cyberhugs, Rita B

Pushing my cart to the first stop on my shopping list, I almost ran into a young woman in a purple shade of pink. Pinkle? Anyway, it looked very good with her long blond hair. I excused myself and headed in another direction. Off I went looking for items on my list and throwing them into my cart, hiding the giant tub of Citrucel. Turning another corner, I bumped shopping carts with the same woman. Then a few minutes later, I almost hit her again while going down another aisle! She was everywhere! Then she even checked out in front of me.

Loading up my car and heading home, on the first major road was a big undercover black SUV with flashing lights blocking one lane. In the parking lot next to the road, a couple of police had surrounded a car and, low and behold, that same woman was out of her car and pleading with the cops. Her hands were flailing in the air, telling some mysterious tale of woe. She looked less attractive in the bright sunlight and in distress.

Even with my slow rubber-necking, I couldn't figure out what had happened. There was no other car and no obvious accident so I tried to come up with some reason for the goings-on. A simple traffic boo-boo wouldn't require so many coppers. Did the woman do some heavy-duty shop lifting at the Stuff Mart? Did I cross paths with a dangerous professional crook? Did I distract her so much with my innocent shadowing that she made a fatal mistake? Maybe she thought I was watching her and it made her so nervous that she slipped up?

Gee, I hope so.


I knew I would be a natural in my new career as an undercover cop in training.

As a self-proclaimed people watcher, I can attest to many weird habits that the human animal indulges in daily. It doesn't take long to see patterns of humorous behavior in our species.

The "jiggling foot" is often seen as a human is waiting for something to end. Kinetic foot jiggling means that the person has had enough of whatever is going on and they are ready to activate their flight response mechanism. It's best to make sure you are not in their way when said activity ends. This reaction is leftover from early man, but now is seen during sermons, lectures, and anywhere humans feel trapped.

"Nail biting" most often is done in private; however, occasionally people watchers are treated to seeing this obscene oral habit in the wild. The reason for this behavior runs the spectrum of causes from nervousness to self-abuse. Most of the time it is done unknowingly, reflecting a blase attitude by the solitary participant. Never interpret this activity as hunger. It has nothing to do with food, but is more of a way of saying they are being introspective.

Seen mostly in younger people with long hair, "hair twirling" is another nervous habit involving the hands. It may have its origins in not knowing what to do with the hands or is born while thinking during inactivity. Older people sometimes transfer this habit into a different form --- hair flipping --- highly prized by women as an effective way to attract the male of the species. Some men have accidental hair flippings during sleep. Ignore this --- do not interpret this as flirting!

The "body swaying" movement seems to pop up whenever a person is standing who would rather be sitting. The sway is quite prevalent in a group and the movement will become in unison. It can increase in speed if the person or group of persons have their eyes closed. The movement could originate from picking up on the vibrations of the cosmos or from the spinning of the earth. Sometimes individuals are not even aware that they are moving, thus swaying appears inborn.

One of the worst human activities is "open-mouth yawning." Any yawn is bad because of its ability to cause any surrounding humans to respond in kind, but when the yawn is not hidden or covered by a hand, it spreads far and wide affecting everyone indiscriminately. Humankind is still not sure of the purpose of the yawn. It has long been thought to spring from deep boredom. Just thinking about yawning can cause the person to yawn uncontrollably. So yawning can't be stopped, but should be covered up by any means possible.

The Queen of the House was primping to make herself ready to travel about the fair land in her gas-guzzling chariot, when she heard an unusual noise. It was early daytime and, even though the King was away conquering another country, the Queen was not afraid. All the non-existent staff was off for a holiday so they wouldn't be much help anyway. The Princesses were on their own and lived far away in other kingdoms.

What could that noise be?

Sometimes a bird hits the upper story windows of the castle. That can make a loud thud and it's always an unexpected noise. That could be it, she thought, as she continued painting her lips red and putting youthful blush on her cheeks.

Blammmmm!!! Followed by a series of crackles.

There it is again, only louder! This time it sounded like it was in the house! Oh, my goodness, I'll have to go check to see what it is --- someone might be trying to break into the castle. The Queen thinks of taking a weapon as she peers down the long hall and sees nothing. But she does notice an odor, a very bad odor. What is that smell, she thinks, it seems familiar somehow. It smelled strongly of rotten............

EGGS!

Oh, no! Just then the Queen remembered what she had done earlier before her long shower and extreme primping session --- she had put three eggs in a pan to boil. And BOIL they did! All the water had boiled out and the eggs were exploding all over the Royal Kitchen!! It was a stinking mess. It was a royal friggin' mess........... eggshells and bits of foul smelling egg parts were plastered everywhere. The kitchen would never be the same from this day forth.

Oh, well, the Queen said, I'll leave the clean-up for the non-existent maid who comes in later. So out the door the tarty Queen went knowing full well that she would be the one down on her hands and knees cleaning the floor, stove, and blackened pan.

~~~ And she lived happily ever after. The End.



MORAL of the Story: Never forget when you have put something on the stove!

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was littered with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys on the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel for her online book club, Under the Covers. The computer was on her blog site.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

~~~ Priceless!!!

Isn't it time to go shopping for Mother's Day? It's next Sunday.