"CAUTION: Objects in the Stream are closer than they appear." (B.C. Comic, 5-5-06)

1. My mother proudly told everyone I could count to 25 when I was 2 years old. I have retained that skill to this day at the ripe age of (?*)...........well, never mind.

2. I bought my 1st bike from a neighbor's kid for $5. It was a rusty red, boy's bike.

3. We had 5 children in my family so growing up in the 1 bathroom houses of those days, made life interesting and fun. Good prep for dorm and barracks living.

4. I started school at 5 years old and skipped the 2nd half of grade 7. Skipping was a mistake as I was shy and socially immature in high school.

5. I bought my 1st car from a neighbor for $500 which I paid $100 a month for 5 months. It was a rusting disgusting brown.

Add all the numbers in this post for the total answer to today's Math Quiz. What did you get??? *Be kind!

Happy Cinco de Mayo and TGIF to all my smart Streamer friends!

The following report is based on fact. Some of the truth has been changed to provide humor in an unfunny world:

Sexually-harassed Janet Orlando who got an unwanted spanking settled out of court and was awarded $500,000. She got the paddling and the money! Donuts could not be reached for comment.
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The Pope says lack of true love is the reason for so many failed marriages. Duh. Apparently, true lust continues to wear a mask.
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Rush Limbaugh was arrested trying to fill a 30 day prescription for 10,000 Oxycontin pills. The druggist only became suspicious when he could read the prescription.
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The Deadwood Medicine Company and its affiliate, Wild West Drugs, was shocked to find out that booze does nothing for a toothache. The company still insists that booze does help the tooth owner.
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The $6,000 found in a pair of pants by a volunteer at Goodwill was returned to its forgetful owner! No reward or donation was given.
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Housekeeping Tip --- Removing one's glasses reduces housework by 50% or more. Try it!
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Life's lottery numbers for the Week: 21, 36, 40, 52, 60 or B 4 something .............Please!

Check out the Needs More Cowbell blog under my favorites. I've got a new post about Janis Joplin! ~~~ Cyberhugs, Rita B

"We could be saving lives in Darfur instead of taking them in Iraq. It's our choice." from The Buzz

DEADLY STALEMATE

I cannot speak for the flowers
But their faces look up at me
I only cry for the children
But their faces look up to me

Far on the other side of the world
Out of the soft drifting screams
Far away or so it may seem
Little ones wait at the edge of the stream

I see no evil and hear no evil
I hide behind my blood red door
When I turn to go the other way
I still dream of the evils of Darfur

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God cries when he sees what we let happen to the children of the world. ~~~ Rita B